Ezzatron

By Jove, I’ve done it!

Yes my friends, after much trial and error, I’ve invented a method of compressing coffee into a smaller size, making it possible to carry around numerous coffees safely and easily.

The process involves compressing the coffee into small metal discs, called “Coins”. The coffee in these coins can then be extracted at a special coffee extraction point, or “Café”.

This is a major step forward over traditional lossy coffee compression systems, such as instant coffee. This new compression method is completely lossless, meaning the exact flavour and other important characteristics of the coffee are preserved.

I’ve filed a patent for the technology, and I’m currently working on a prototype implementation in the Java programming language.

Initial testing indicates that coffee quality can vary depending on the extraction point used. Therefore, extraction point operators (or “Baristas”) will require special training to ensure that the quality of coffee extracted from the coins remains at a consistent level. Further testing is planned over the coming months.

Stay tuned for further developments.

Props to Horus Kol for inspiration on this post.